Time is ticking closer to when I will go back to the United States. I will be honest, nobody, not one of us REALLY wants to go back to the United States, but deep inside I know it is the right thing to do for so many reasons.
I no longer live in the paradise area of the island. Many people would disagree as they do not feel that Barahona is even remotely pretty, but I was in Heaven when I lived there. I went to sleep with the pounding sound of the waves crashing, it was gorgeous. I woke up the the gorgeous sunshine, and sunsets were amazing. I'm NOT a beach person at all, and I really despise the sun, but I love to live on the beach.
The worst thing that nobody ever told me about living on the water is that electronics break easily from the salt water. Who would have known?
Living on a tropical Island is gorgeous. I do love it here and would stay here in the north as they call it the CIBAO if I had a choice of NY Or here. BUT if I had a choice of where on earth I would rather be it would be Barahona.
I am here in the north because it is the safest place for me on this Island. My ex boyfriend has made comments like, If I can't have you, no Dominican should. His brother is almost out of jail. He's been in prison for 13 years, and has 2 years left for killing his wife! So you see, the threats are not something I need to take lightly. Meanwhile, I will stay here in the "North" in which I know I am safe.
Living here in the Dominican Republic has been an amazing experience for me and the children. My children are completely bilingual and speak really good Spanish. They have also learned the way Dominican people live. I have also taught them the good and bad of this culture.
We have a very easy life here in the Dominican Republic. I work online, and homeschool the kids. My children play outside as much as they possibly can. They LOVE it. They have lots of friends.
I love that they have grown up being a minority, and being exposed to different people. I will head to New York and continue to have them around all different type of people.
My children have lived the last 3 years without a lot of toys that they would normally have had. They were taught to enjoy and cherish what they have. They make a lot of their toys, because the kids in the neighborhood do too.
I have no regrets for living here these past 3 years, and look forward to continuing my life with my children and husband as we start a new chapter. Our new chapter should be very interesting :)
Friday, September 6, 2013
Our First Fight... Wasn't Pretty...
Well in reality it was just an argument, but it didn't feel pretty. We have never fought up till this point, so it doesn't feel so nice! lol..
I have been married before, and I have to remember back over 15 years ago, but I remember our first year of marriage together as pure ...inferno ;) I remember it like it was yesterday. We had a huge power struggle.
This marriage is very different. So now you want to know what we fought over, right? Ok, I will tell you.
We are working on his papers to have him come to New York with me. It is time to come home now, and I'm not all that ready and neither is he, but we know it is best for us, and the kids. My oldest daughter though wants NOTHING to do with leaving. Even crying about selling things to go home. I can't store this stuff, I have no idea how long before we come back to visit. What does she think? I can just pay my rent here and keep everything where it is? Yeah.. not likely.
Anyway.. We had explicit instructions from the US Government of what papers to hand in. They said that they had to be translated and legalized.
I send my husband to run errands and I tell him step by step how his wife wants things carried out. Amor, please remember.. FIRST you go to the bank, and pay the fee. Ok.. He says.
I repeat myself.. please, make sure you go there and pay the fee.. Then you go to the place and you nonchalantly put it under their nose to put their stamp of approval on it. Don't ask them anything as that will just draw attention to it. Ok? Yes, Amor.
I get a phone call about a 1/2 hour later and I was thinking wow, the bank was QUICK.. no line I guess.. Well he says.. My love, I'm at my sisters house calling you. The paper you gave me has to be translated by a real translator.. (Uhm..It was done by a real translator) no.. It NEEDS to have a special stamp on it. What should I do? I said, how much? 1200 pesos each page. WHAT? Will it be legalized when its done? Yes! Well do it.. we don't have much time..
Feeling a little annoyed at this country on how they really don't have rules and regulations and NOW they do.. Whatever.. He comes back home about 1 hour later, empty handed.. This is where we argue..
"Amor, the paper? " I ask.
"Yes, it will be ready tomorrow by 4:30pm" He says nervously.
"All done? Legalized and everything?" I ask.
"Amor, the paper is already legalized." he responds.
*************blood starts to boil.....
"Yes, Amor, " I say.. "But the translation ALSO needs to be legalized TOO.. They are going to do that right?!?!"
"No." He says and looks away.
"WHAT?!?!?!" I say irritated.
"Amor, those forms never get legalized, they told me it is only the original form that needs to be legalized." is his response.
Blood boiling and I'm trying to hold my cool I say.. "Look.. There is no way that the United States of America's Embassy is going to force us to have if the Dominican Republic government does not do it!!!" I snap..
"Honey, please.. You will see you are confused." He suggests.
"WHAT?! Confused.. LOOK" I pull out the paper requirements. He's pretty proud of himself as he reads that all papers in spanish must be translated and the orignals must be inextensa and legalized." "You see" he says, "Only the originals."
Hiding the fact that I want to scream, I say "Continue reading."
He reads the last part.. and he's dead silent.
I am ready to freak out because now he SEES he is wrong..
"So now what?" i ask.
"They won't do it, I don't know what to do." He says.
"Where is the receipt showing that you paid the 660 pesos." I ask
"What receipt, my love?" He asks.
"WHAT RECEIPT?! YOU HAVE THE RECEIPT TO THE BANK RIGHT?!"
Ok I won't continue with this back and forth, but the point of it was.. I gave him explicit instructions in which he was so SURE that I was wrong. He didn't follow my instructions, instead he did it HIS way and it backfired on him. Not only that but it set us back a few days..
I did have him go back and fix everything, and the next day still not feeling well about everything, he jokingly tells his sister what happened. She told him, you ALWAYS do what your wife tells you to do.. HAHAHA.. I was surprised by her response. She then told him.. that way if it fails, at least it will be HER fault.
That's when I concluded.. "Yes and if it is my fault, I will say I'm sorry unlike your brother."
Long story short, he realized he forgot to own up to his mistake. I know I've got a great guy, and I love him to pieces. Things like this just bring us closer not further apart. I welcome thse disagreements as we learn from eachother.
I have been married before, and I have to remember back over 15 years ago, but I remember our first year of marriage together as pure ...inferno ;) I remember it like it was yesterday. We had a huge power struggle.
This marriage is very different. So now you want to know what we fought over, right? Ok, I will tell you.
We are working on his papers to have him come to New York with me. It is time to come home now, and I'm not all that ready and neither is he, but we know it is best for us, and the kids. My oldest daughter though wants NOTHING to do with leaving. Even crying about selling things to go home. I can't store this stuff, I have no idea how long before we come back to visit. What does she think? I can just pay my rent here and keep everything where it is? Yeah.. not likely.
Anyway.. We had explicit instructions from the US Government of what papers to hand in. They said that they had to be translated and legalized.
I send my husband to run errands and I tell him step by step how his wife wants things carried out. Amor, please remember.. FIRST you go to the bank, and pay the fee. Ok.. He says.
I repeat myself.. please, make sure you go there and pay the fee.. Then you go to the place and you nonchalantly put it under their nose to put their stamp of approval on it. Don't ask them anything as that will just draw attention to it. Ok? Yes, Amor.
I get a phone call about a 1/2 hour later and I was thinking wow, the bank was QUICK.. no line I guess.. Well he says.. My love, I'm at my sisters house calling you. The paper you gave me has to be translated by a real translator.. (Uhm..It was done by a real translator) no.. It NEEDS to have a special stamp on it. What should I do? I said, how much? 1200 pesos each page. WHAT? Will it be legalized when its done? Yes! Well do it.. we don't have much time..
Feeling a little annoyed at this country on how they really don't have rules and regulations and NOW they do.. Whatever.. He comes back home about 1 hour later, empty handed.. This is where we argue..
"Amor, the paper? " I ask.
"Yes, it will be ready tomorrow by 4:30pm" He says nervously.
"All done? Legalized and everything?" I ask.
"Amor, the paper is already legalized." he responds.
*************blood starts to boil.....
"Yes, Amor, " I say.. "But the translation ALSO needs to be legalized TOO.. They are going to do that right?!?!"
"No." He says and looks away.
"WHAT?!?!?!" I say irritated.
"Amor, those forms never get legalized, they told me it is only the original form that needs to be legalized." is his response.
Blood boiling and I'm trying to hold my cool I say.. "Look.. There is no way that the United States of America's Embassy is going to force us to have if the Dominican Republic government does not do it!!!" I snap..
"Honey, please.. You will see you are confused." He suggests.
"WHAT?! Confused.. LOOK" I pull out the paper requirements. He's pretty proud of himself as he reads that all papers in spanish must be translated and the orignals must be inextensa and legalized." "You see" he says, "Only the originals."
Hiding the fact that I want to scream, I say "Continue reading."
He reads the last part.. and he's dead silent.
I am ready to freak out because now he SEES he is wrong..
"So now what?" i ask.
"They won't do it, I don't know what to do." He says.
"Where is the receipt showing that you paid the 660 pesos." I ask
"What receipt, my love?" He asks.
"WHAT RECEIPT?! YOU HAVE THE RECEIPT TO THE BANK RIGHT?!"
Ok I won't continue with this back and forth, but the point of it was.. I gave him explicit instructions in which he was so SURE that I was wrong. He didn't follow my instructions, instead he did it HIS way and it backfired on him. Not only that but it set us back a few days..
I did have him go back and fix everything, and the next day still not feeling well about everything, he jokingly tells his sister what happened. She told him, you ALWAYS do what your wife tells you to do.. HAHAHA.. I was surprised by her response. She then told him.. that way if it fails, at least it will be HER fault.
That's when I concluded.. "Yes and if it is my fault, I will say I'm sorry unlike your brother."
Long story short, he realized he forgot to own up to his mistake. I know I've got a great guy, and I love him to pieces. Things like this just bring us closer not further apart. I welcome thse disagreements as we learn from eachother.
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